#31 goop (again), Gossip Girl (again), Dewy Dudes, and teenage angst.

"finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu."

I’m glad to hear people have enjoyed my podcast trailer lol. You guys are too nice to me! Again, if you want to pitch an idea to come on incognito tab, reply to this email or DM me. Listen to incognito tab on Spotify, Apple podcasts, and everywhere else podcasts are availllll

Episode 1 drops next week. I am DYING to tell you guys the guest, but I won’t. We’re actually taking questions for this episode. Respond to this email or DM me any deep dark secrets of ~retail jobs~ you want to know. Or just any questions regarding working a bad retail job. My guest and I have PLENTY of stories.

Anyway it’s been a minute since I’ve sent one of my regular emails, so here you go!

I’m going to try a new format btw. Let me know what you think 👀


Exile in Goopville words by Brian Burns on Cultural Fan Fiction
My love for Gwyneth Paltrow started as ironic and now is completely genuine. Literally anything she posts or says gives me a crazy rush of serotonin. I’m like wow:) she rocks:) lmaoooo. It started when I watched the goop lab with Gwyneth Paltrow on Netflix during peak quar. Yes, everything they do is wild, but I love how down she is for anything! It really surprised me! She seems so warm and down-to-earth??? Anyway, watch the goop lab show (very entertaining), and also read this hilarious satire piece by Brian Burns (whose newsletter is also amazing!). There are also many gems on the Cult Fan Fic site.


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My parents won’t shut up about how dirty this city is, and I can’t even be like “No it’s not!!!” I’m just like “Haha…yeah…”

But, *Fiona Apple voice* ladies, ladies, ladies (and also everyone else)… This will not stop us from wearing sandals. This vaccinated summer is going to be sunny and hot and fun! Let’s explore sandal options.

  • I’m going to guess ~70% of my subscribers already own these. The rubber Birkenstocks. Literally everyone needs a pair. The perfect house shoe. The perfect beach shoe. The perfect I’m going to check my mail for the third time because I’m procrastinating shoe. They also look cute as a socks-and-sandals moment. They come in a ton of bright colors too! Birkenstocks are so polarizing, and I feel like these are a good intro?

  • Might twist an ankle in these, but look how fun!

  • Are you team Teva’s or Chaco’s hive? Either way, cosplay as an outdoorsy person (hiking up your walkup is tough, I know!).

  • These satin-y stompers would look good with a big pants tiny shirt fit or a billowy floral dress.

  • If you want to go vintage (per Leandra Medine’s rec), Etsy has a bunch of fuuuunn fisherman sandals.

  • I can’t even make fun of the lil influencer shoes, because I have a pair. But check out the rest of Paloma Wool’s lovely shoes!

  • Something we don’t want to talk about…the “flip flop” style is sorta back (this site has a lot of good shoes btw).


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Yes, I bought this tote.

Yes, I tweeted this.

And then yes, they did confront me, stating my government, from 1:05:45 - 1:09:07 LMAO.

Have I recc’ed this podcast before? It’s great! I especially love the Hunter Harris episode. If you didn’t listen to aforementioned clip, the Dewy Dudes will also be guests soon :)


I just started season 5 of Gossip Girl (yes, this is surprisingly my first time watching it). I’m almost done (there are 6 seasons). I literally don’t know what I’ll do when I’m done with this show. I’ve never been so invested in characters like, ever.

With that being said, I need a combination Gossip Girl and pop culture expert to come on my podcast to talk about it. My DMs are open…


Thank you subscriber/friend of the newsie Cam for showing me this song. Okaaaaay we need to talk about music that is reminiscent of like early 2010’s Tumblr indie jams. Makes me want to steal one of my dad’s Marlboro reds and sneak out my window LMAO.


Let’s try something new with the donation thing. Pick any cause/organization of your choosing and send me a screenshot of your donation. In return, I will write you an ✨acrostic poem✨ of your name. The donation can be from the the last few weeks.


Thanks for reading 💕 Different format today because I felt like talking a little more hehe. Let me know what you think?

Again, listen to my new podcast incognito tab on Spotify, Apple podcasts, and wherever you listen to podcasts!

The first episode drops next week! So give it a follow!

xoxo, Gossip Girl.